You Might Be a Texan If...

I stole some of these from Jeff Foxworthy...the green ones are my own, or at least significantly altered by me.  I'm NOT a Texan...just a Texifornian, so...well, just feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.  Feel free to suggest some of your own!

You might be a Texan if...

• If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there. 
• If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time.

(If you've ever worn shorts, a parka, and Sorels...you might be a California mountainer)

 <- sorels="sorels" span="span">

• If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend (DOES NOT apply to most Texifornians!)
• If you've ever gone "offroading" on the median to escape a traffic jam.
• If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
• If you keep a gun to protect your house...but leave it unlocked.
• If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph, you're going 85, and everybody's passing you (can I have an AMEN!)
• If you think more than 2 inches is "a lot of snow." 
  
• If you have no idea how to drive on snow or ice.
• If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly,' 

(If you find 70 degrees 'a little chilly,' you might be a Texifornia)

• If you don't see the problem with eating breaded friend vegetables with your breaded fried chicken.
• If you're eating Black Eyed Peas today!  (Happy New Year!) 

If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely live in Texas .

I assumed by that last line that Jeff Foxworthy WANTED these passed on.  But if that's not the case, Mr. Foxworthy, just let me know I'll take them down.