Tuesday, January 01, 2013

You Might Be a Texan If...

I stole some of these from Jeff Foxworthy...the green ones are my own, or at least significantly altered by me.  I'm NOT a Texan...just a Texifornian, so...well, just feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.  Feel free to suggest some of your own!

You might be a Texan if...

  • If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there. 
  • If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time.
(If you've ever worn shorts, a parka, and Sorels...you might be a California mountainer)
 <- sorels="sorels" span="span">

  • If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend (DOES NOT apply to most Texifornians!)
  • If you've ever gone "offroading" on the median to escape a traffic jam.
  • If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
  • If you keep a gun to protect your house...but leave it unlocked.
  • If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph, you're going 85, and everybody's passing you (can I have an AMEN!)
  • If you think more than 2 inches is "a lot of snow.
  • If you have no idea how to drive on snow or ice.
  • If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly,' 
(If you find 70 degrees 'a little chilly,' you might be a Texifornia)
  • If you don't see the problem with eating breaded friend vegetables with your breaded fried chicken.
  • If you're eating Black Eyed Peas today!  (Happy New Year!) 
If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely live in Texas .
I assumed by that last line that Jeff Foxworthy WANTED these passed on.  But if that's not the case, Mr. Foxworthy, just let me know I'll take them down.   
Masons Mama Blog


No comments:

Post a Comment